If only I could turn back time

The birth of Adalyn and all this talk of babies has made my mind wander back in time. Honestly, I try not to let myself remember when I had 2 little babies. Quite frankly these years were not the best of times for Tony and I. We still had many years before we were able to see the light. I find myself with tears in my eyes and a heart full of regret when I think back. It weighs heavy on both of our hearts that we were unfortunately unable to break clear of our addictions and be there both physically and mentally for the girls. I have kept all of their baby photos stored away on purpose. I do not have any pictures dating back farther than 3 1/2 years displayed anywhere in my home. Finally, Today I got out the box of photos and laughed and cried. I feel some what better now after facing it. I am truly blessed to have Randi and Ashley in my life today. I have been blocking this part of my past for awhile now, and it has made me unable to relate with them in their recent experiences. I finally feel like I have the courage to face facts and here are some of the pictures I found today that I didn't even remember. the first one is of me the day I had Madelyn, I'm looking pretty rough, the second is Madelyn at one day old, the third is Jadelyn about 6 months, the forth is when we brought Maddy home from the hospital and Jadelyn was already torturing her, the last is Madelyn at 6 months.